FIGURING IT OUT ONE DAY AT A TIME!

Times are tough for me at the moment. I am trying to lose weight and feel like crying. I gained last week for the weigh in. Even though is was only three pounds due to muscle I was building I was angry, hurt, frustrated and disappointed in myself. I worked hard tried to eat as good as possible. I thought for sure I would get under 170. I was wrong. I looked at it as a lesson. I know life doesn't always work out the way we want. So I decided to work harder this week and eat better. I am doing this for me not anyone else. My body is going through a lot of changes but, so is my mind and spirit. I am adjusting to a new lifestyle not just changing to lose weight and go back to the way I was. I am doing this for my sister, my mom, my dad. I am doing this for my health and for the health of the children I want to have someday. I have live my whole life just trying to be perfect little angel to some and knowing I could never be what I or some wanted to others. I have lived with a lot of guilt of things that were out of my control. I have suffered from and internal pain that wouldn't cease. Now for the first time in my life I have control of these demons. I know I can do anything I put my mind to. Now I am figuring out things and myself a day at a time. I'm taking it line up line precept upon precept.